Bullying is one of those unfortunate things most people have to deal with at some point in their lives. It has gotten a lot worse nowadays, thanks to improved ways to communicate with the internet and social media.
Anyone can be bullied regardless of their age, but it mostly happens to school-aged children. Bullies are typically people who are not happy with themselves. They attempt to make themselves feel better by taking out their frustration on others.
Training in martial arts for kids is one of the ways for them to learn to protect and stand up for themselves. With that said, a physical confrontation is never the best nor should it be the first solution. There exist several steps that could be taken if your child ever encounters a bully. Let’s take a look at a few non-violent ways to deal with a bully.
A simple way to avoid dealing with a bully is by minimizing contact with them. You do not have to answer back every time your bully picks on you. Ignoring the bully denies them of the reaction they are looking for and it doesn’t take much out of you. Bullies tend to feed off the pain of others so not getting upset because of their actions takes the fun out of it for them.
You can also choose to ignore your bully and spend as little time as possible with them. That might mean having your lunch at a different table in the cafeteria or spending your break periods somewhere else. Your bully will not be able to torment you if they do not know where you are.
If you have a hard time resisting the urge to answer back every time your bully provokes you, try taking some deep breaths to relax or count to five in your head. Always remember that the more you engage a bully, the more incentive the person has to annoy you.
2) Be Courteous
A bully might realize how silly their behavior is if you talk nicely to them. Make eye contact with the person and politely and confidently explain what you do not like about their behavior. By being the bigger person, you highlight the other person’s behavior.
That is sometimes enough to make the bully realize what they are doing is wrong.
3) Walk Away
At times, there is no amount of nice talk that will get a bully to leave you alone. When this is the case, consider walking away from the confrontation before things escalate. Ignore the bully’s actions and start walking towards a congested area or where other people are. That way, if the bully decides to attack you, there are others who can help.
Do not show any fear as you walk away from the bully. Act confident, stand tall and do not look back over your shoulder. Keep walking until you are close to an authority figure or some friends that can back you up.
You can also choose to simply stay away from your bully. You do not have to go somewhere when you know the person will be there. There is nothing wrong with avoiding places you know your bully likes to go since it helps to prevent a confrontation from occurring in the first place. It is impossible for a bully to make you upset when they can’t even find you. Walk away from the bully and prevent confrontations from occurring.
4) Talk Firmly
If the bully continues to torment you, you will eventually have to stand up for yourself. Talk to the bully in a calm, firm tone and clearly explain what you do not like about the way you are being treated. It is very important that you convey confidence. The bully is more likely to take your words seriously if it is clear you are not afraid of them.
Demand the person to stop the behavior and clearly state what the consequences will be if the person continues.
If the bully ignores your firm warnings, report the person to the closest authority figure. This can be a parent, teacher, or coach. If there are no authority figures around you, report the bully to your peers so that they know what is going on. That way, there are more likely to intervene if it continues.
In many cases, teachers and parents can resolve the negative behavior by talking to the bully and their parents. Figuring out why the bully behaves the way they do is extremely helpful. The bully may stop their negative behavior once the underlying psychological issue has been addressed. Or the bully might be sent to a different school.
How Bullies Select Their Targets
There is nothing brave about bullies. Most have a cowardly disposition and they tend to pick on whoever seems to be the weakest target. The new kid in school who does not have many friends or the scrawniest kid in class.
The most effective way to prevent bullying is by becoming more confident. Confident people project a vibe that says they would not make easy targets. Such a person might actually be able to turn the tables around on the bully. It is why you never hear about the most athletic or most popular kids in school ever getting bullied. The athletic child is physically strong enough to defend themselves against children their age and bullies are well aware of this. The popular kid has many friends and the bully might have to take on all of them if they pick on that child.
Learn how to be a more confident person, and you will find yourself dealing with fewer bullies. Confidence comes from feeling good about yourself and there are many things you can do to improve yours. You can sign up for martial arts classes and learn how to defend yourself. This would get you in excellent physical shape and it will improve your confidence in more than one way. Knowing that you can defend yourself if necessary would make you more confident when you confront a bully and warn them to stay away.
You can also improve your confidence by taking part in extracurricular activities at school. You would make more friends while doing it, and mastering anything would make you a more confident person.
If you have a child who would benefit from increased confidence and knowing self-defense, sign him/her up for a trial class to give martial arts a go!
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