The Martial Arts Parent: How To Support Your Child’s Journey

So, your child wants to learn how to throw flying spinning kicks like one of the superheroes they see on TV? Welcome to the world of being a martial arts parent—a place where excitement is encouraged, but staying in control is just as important.

Supporting your child in martial arts—whether it’s Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, or both—is all about finding the right balance. Encourage them, but avoid overstepping boundaries. Think of yourself as their trusty sidekick, not the main character! Today, let’s explore some ways to be the best support system for your child on their martial arts journey.

 

1) Cheer, Don’t Coach (Seriously, Let The Coaches And Black Belts Handle It)

Let your child take charge of their martial arts journey—mistakes and all—so they learn responsibility and problem-solving.

You’re not paying for your child’s martial arts classes just to moonlight as Sensei Mom or Professor Dad. Martial arts instructors spend years honing their craft, and it’s their job to coach your child during training sessions and competitions. Yelling instructions to your child from the sidelines typically does more harm than good.

Your job as a parent is to cheer and clap as loudly as possible. Hearing your voice will help your child push through any adversity they encounter on the mat. Leave the technical advice to the pros!

Avoid the urge to give your child tips during post-class rides as well. These aren’t the moments for unsolicited feedback. Instead, ask questions like “What was the most fun technique you learned today?”.

 

2) Celebrate Effort Over Outcomes (Because It’s About the Journey, Not Just the Medal)

Celebrate your child’s growth in martial arts—not just their wins, but their resilience, discipline, and every hard-earned milestone.

Your child doesn’t need to become the a Muay Thai World Champion or IBJJF World Champion to make you proud. Learning martial arts isn’t just about being a good competitor; it’s also about building attributes like resilience, discipline, and confidence.

Praise your child’s progress as a martial artist. Did they finally master the L-sweep after struggling with it for weeks? That itself is a victory worth celebrating!

 

3) Foster Independence (No, You Can’t Do Their Push-Ups For Them)

Let your child take charge of their martial arts journey—mistakes and progress included—so they can learn responsibility and problem-solving.

Martial arts training teaches self-reliance but hovering over your child like a helicopter parent teaches the opposite. Step back and let your child own their martial arts journey.

Pack your child’s training gear together and hand over the reins. Kids forget stuff, and that’s okay. Let them learn the hard way that leaving their Gi at home means they’ll be the only ones wearing gym shorts at practice.

Resist the urge to “fix” everything and let them problem-solve first. See your child struggling with a technique? Encourage them to ask their instructors questions instead of talking to the coach on their behalf.

 

4) Communicate Openly (But Not Too Openly)

Stay curious but not pushy—ask “How was class?” and let your child lead the conversation.

Yes, it’s important to stay informed about what’s happening in the dojo. If your child doesn’t like their instructor, that’s one thing, but constantly grilling them about it every day is excessive.

Instead, ask specific questions like “How was class?” and let your child take over from there. Listen more and lecture less. Respect your child’s privacy if they don’t feel like talking about their session. They might not have gotten a technique down, or they could just be tired after a long day.

 

5) Balance Training With Recovery (Because Tiny Humans Need Sleep Too)

Balance your child’s martial arts training with rest, proper nutrition, and fun to keep them engaged and prevent burnout.

Martial arts parents often fall into one of two traps: overscheduling or under-prioritizing their child’s training. Some things you can do to balance out your child’s training include:

  • Schedule Rest Days: Even professional fighters don’t train 24/7. Make sure your child has enough off days for other activities like family walks, playing with friends, or other sports.
  • Watch For Burnout: Ask questions to understand what’s going on if your child suddenly hates training in martial arts. They might just need a break after a cram-packed schedule of school, CCAs, and other commitments.
  • Fuel Their Machine: Nutrient-rich meals and hydration matter even more when your child starts training in martial arts. This means their diet should be rich in proteins for their growing bodies, carbs to fuel their training sessions, and lots of fruits and vegetables to supply essential micronutrients. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get occasional treats like ice cream after milestones like passing belt tests.

 

6) Know When To Step Back (Yes, Even If You’re A Black Belt In Micromanaging)

Support your child’s martial arts journey by giving them space, respecting their choices, and letting them explore what suits them best.

Learning how to let go is the ultimate test martial arts parents face. Learn to skip the occasional class. Your presence isn’t required during every training session. Allow your child to interact with their peers without your watchful gaze.

Martial arts parents should support their children’s choices, even if they want to quit. Instead of telling them “no,” ask why they feel that way. Maybe martial arts isn’t for them, or maybe they just need to try a different style. Martial arts gyms like Evolve MMA offer trial classes for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) and Muay Thai for a reason, giving you more options to explore the right fit for your child.

Remember that it’s your child’s martial arts journey, not yours. Your role is to guide, not control!

 

7) Be The Obi-Wan To Their Luke (Wisdom > Control)

Be a mentor, not a micromanager—lead by example, encourage growth, and inspire through stories, not lectures.

Like Obi-Wan, your job isn’t to help your child wield a lightsaber; it’s to share Jedi-level wisdom. Martial arts parents should mentor their children, not micromanage them.

  • Model Resilience: Did you end up burning dinner? Narrate your comeback plans to your child with something like, “Well, this didn’t go as planned, but we can try again tomorrow.” Children mimic what they see.
  • Embrace The “Yet” Mindset: Always add “yet” to your child’s sentences when they say things like “I can’t perform roundhouse kicks.” 
  • Share Stories, Not Lectures: Instead of boring your child with one of those “when I was your age…” stories, inspire them about how their favorite martial artist or sports star failed many times before accomplishing their goals.

 

Retire Your Inner Sensei: Their Journey, Your Support

Supporting your child’s martial arts journey isn’t about raising a world champion; it’s about helping them to grow into resilient, confident individuals who can handle whatever life throws their way—from school presentations to escaping sneaky triangle chokes.

Stay upbeat on the sidelines, don’t pressure your child, and be generous with post-class snacks.

The lessons your child learns on the mat will help them throughout all aspects of their lives. They’ll get a productive way to burn off all that excess energy children seemingly have while learning valuable skills and life lessons.

Check out Evolve MMA’s kids’ programs if your child is interested in martial arts. We offer complimentary classes in styles like Muay Thai and BJJ. You might even get to sneak in a friendly parent-child sparring session if you promise not to cry when your kid taps you out!

 

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